Torn Love
by unicorn-skydancer08
Summary: Tumnus loves Lucy, but so does Terence. Who will Lucy choose, and how will the rejected one react?
1. Part 1

**TORN LOVE  
><strong>

_This is a story I've had in mind for quite some time, but it wasn't until now that I finally figured out how to apply it properly to paper. Though, at first, this was meant to be a one-shot, I decided to break it down into individual chapters._

_Have fun, mates! Review when you are through!  
><em>

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><p><strong>Characters (except Terence) © C.S. Lewis and DisneyWalden Media**

**Terence and Story © unicorn-skydancer08 **

_**All rights reserved.**_

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><p><strong><span>PART 1<span>**

A rush of cool wind greeted Terence's face as the young man strolled into Cair Paravel's private grounds. Terence closed his eyes and lifted his face to the sun, inhaling the smell of the Eastern Sea, laced with the perfume of apple, magnolia, and lush grass. It felt wonderful to be out in the open, away from the noise and bustle of the palace. But then, being a unicorn at heart, Terence always felt most at ease when outdoors. Opening his eyes once more, Terence drank in deeply the sights that unfurled before him: the glittering blue ocean, the broad white sands, and further on, the sweeping green forests and rolling hills that gave way to majestic mountains. Narnia was a beautiful place, Terence thought—no more than the other lands he'd passed through before, but no less, either. Strangely, though not entirely unexpectedly, along with the young man's feelings of love and admiration for this country came a pang of sorrow.

He was reminded anew of how far he was from home…if that was what he could call it. Being a wanderer, he had never been able to truly settle down anywhere; nevertheless, that did not keep away the cloying feeling of homesickness.

Beyond that, he was reminded of how far he was from Rhiella, the former love of his life, and how much he missed her.

The white-haired youth sighed. Even after all this time, the pain of his loss was as fresh and undimmed as ever. Even now, from this spot, he could see Rhiella's face, clear as anything. Rhiella had meant more to him than anything in the world. Terence had never known anyone like her, and he would never find anyone like her again, not even if he searched for a thousand years. Sure, he had encountered plenty of women in his days as a unicorn, and he'd courted several mares here and there, but he never understood what true, honest love was—neither loss nor regret—until Rhiella came into his life. Now that she was gone, his life had never been the same. _He_ wasn't the same anymore.

She was everything he could have hoped for. What was there to hope for now?

Slowly, Terence made his way down the garden path, until he came to a stop by one of the trees. There, he leaned against the sturdy body of that tree, running a single hand slowly and distraughtly over his handsome face.

As if missing Rhiella wasn't bad enough, now Terence found himself falling for another girl.

That girl was none other than his long-time friend, Lucy Marie Pevensie, also known as Queen Lucy the Valiant, or simply Lucy.

She and Terence had been close friends for many years, since she was but a child. Even today, Terence remembered the day they first met. She was the sweetest, most charming little thing he ever saw, and he loved her like the sister he'd never had. Now that Lucy was a fine young woman, Terence felt his heart reaching out to her in a most peculiar way. He felt the oddest desire to be nearer to her, to take care of her, to be what she had most need of.

Though he'd tried to deny his feelings at first, in the end he was forced to admit it: _I love her. _

How could this be? How could he have fallen for his old friend? It was absurd, outrageous—downright unnatural.

What would Lucy think of him if she knew? What of Peter, Susan, Edmund, and all the others? Worst of all, what would Tumnus think? The handsome young faun, who was Lucy's other good friend, was like a brother to Terence. They were always there for each other; they trusted each other in everything. How would the faun react if he discovered Terence was in love with Lucy? Just the notion by itself made Terence feel strangely sick.

Terence continued to rub his face a minute or so longer, before he dropped his hand and let his head rest against the rough trunk.

He closed his eyes again, blocking out everything, though his mind continued to swim in a relentless sea of thoughts.

Maybe Lucy would think he had officially gone crazy if she knew. And even if she did reciprocate his love, how was it going to work out? What did he have to offer her? She was a woman of high class, of immense popularity; everyone looked up to her and admired her. He was but a mere boy, not even entirely human, with nothing in the world to call his own. He had no money, no property, no special title, no inheritance of any kind.

He didn't even have a proper home; it was due to the great generosity of Lucy and her siblings that he was able to stay in the Cair in the first place.

On the whole, he was a nobody.

Terence sighed, for the second time in less than ten minutes.

"Why must this be so complicated?" he found himself saying aloud, to no one in particular. "Why must I be so afraid to tell Lucy how I truly feel? Why can't I just come clean with her?"

"Well, why don't you, Terence?" a gravelly voice broke in suddenly.

With a start, Terence opened his eyes and glanced around the area. When he saw nobody, he looked down to find Beaver squatting at his feet, gazing up at him with interest.

"Stars above—did you just hear all of that, Beaver?" Terence gasped, his heart racing, his bright sapphire eyes at least three times their usual size.

"Clear as a bell, mate," Beaver replied unabashedly.

When Terence was reassured there was no one else in the area, he demanded, "What are you doing here?"

"I was following you. I spotted you as you were leaving the castle, and you looked ill at ease, and…well, I wanted to see whether you were all right." When Terence said nothing, Beaver declared, "So, you love Lucy, eh?"

Terence wanted to say no, but instead he found himself saying, "Yes."

"I knew it!" said Beaver triumphantly, his beady black eyes all but aglow. "I always sensed you were feeling something toward the lady."

"How could you tell?"

"Oh, c'mon, mate! You should know by now that you don't hide your true emotions very well. I could see it in your face, just about every time you looked at Lucy. It showed in your very eyes. The way you pay more attention to her than to any other female in the palace, including Susan, along with the way you go out of your way to avoid her at times, the way you get all tongue-tied when speaking to her…on the whole, I'd say it's about as obvious as the fur on me face."

Terence felt an unpleasant feeling in his stomach, as if he'd eaten something that didn't agree with him.

If Beaver was that perceptive of his behavior, what about everyone else at the Cair?

"So, why don't you come out and say it?" Beaver asked. "Why not tell Lucy the truth and have done with it?"

Terence sighed, and kneaded his brow absently with the tips of his fingers. "It's not that easy, Beaver."

"Scared, are ya?"

Knowing it would do no good to try to lie, Terence confessed, "Yes. Yes, I am scared, Beaver—more than you can imagine."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not good enough for her."

"Not good enough?" Beaver furrowed his own bristly brows in an expression of confusion and utter bewilderment. "What in blazes are you saying?"

"What can I possibly give Lucy? What does a boy who has nothing give a girl who has everything?"

"You have your love, mate. Love is something that can never be purchased with all the gold and jewels in the world."

"How should I say it, anyway? How can you tell your best friend whom you've known since she was a child that you want her as your wife? Besides, this isn't something you randomly blurt out. You want to reveal it in a sincere, special way."

"So, come up with something that's sincere and special," insisted Beaver. "Use your imagination, mate! Be spontaneous, be daring! Do something you'd never done before—something Lucy would never have expected you to do!"

Terence stared at his small companion incredulously. "Are you serious?"

"'Course I am! Are _you _serious about what you feel for Lucy?"

"Yes, but—"

"Then what are you waiting for? Don't hold back!"

"But, Beaver, what if it doesn't work? What if…" Terence hesitated, half-swallowing the words as they came. "What if Lucy turns me down?"

"You'll never know if you never try," was all Beaver said before turning and scampering away.

Terence watched him go, and even after the little lively creature was out of sight, what he'd just told Terence made the youth think. The more Terence thought about it, the more it frightened him, and yet at the same time, it appealed to him immensely. Why should he stave it off any longer? Why should he withhold the truth from Lucy anymore? Why shouldn't he go along with it, to come out of the closet and simply _ask_ her?

True, there was the very likely possibility that her answer would be no…but if it was the opposite…

_I suppose it's worth a try, _Terence thought to himself. _It's like Beaver said; I'll never know for certain if I never give it an honest shot. And now is as good a time as any. _


	2. Part 2

**TORN LOVE  
><strong>

_Here it is, part 2. This part had me stumped for a while, but I finally figured it out. As much as I love writing my own novel, I'll admit it does feel nice to get back to writing fan fiction.  
><em>

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><p><strong>Characters (except Terence) © C.S. Lewis and DisneyWalden Media**

**Terence and Story © unicorn-skydancer08 **

_**All rights reserved.**_

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><p><strong><span>PART 2<span>  
><strong>

Terence's idea to propose to Lucy was a very beautiful one, and all might have gone smoothly—had someone else not also sought the girl's hand.

Unbeknownst to Terence, Tumnus the faun was also warring with his own budding feelings for Lucy. He, too, found himself looking at his longtime friend with new eyes. He, too, longed to kiss her, to hold her in his arms and never let go…to make her his mate. Despite the vast differences between them, the faun yearned to have the Daughter of Eve for his own, and only her. At the same time, he felt a sharp stab of envy, for the more cynical part of him believed Terence was the one she wanted. After all, Lucy had been spending a little more time lately in Terence's company, and between Terence and himself, it was obvious Terence was the much handsomer, more elegant of the two.

It was like comparing a daisy to a rose.

Tumnus's own feelings surprised him, and sickened him. He had never felt anything like this before. How could he love Lucy, and how could he be jealous of Terence, his very best mate?

He couldn't believe it. No one else would believe it if he told them.

At the same time that Terence went out into the garden to be alone, the faun ventured into another part of that same garden. His cloven hooves clicked loudly against the paved stones, and he lifted his face briefly to the sky as the sweet breeze swept over him, rippling his honey-brown curls and ruffling his silk scarf ever so slightly. When he came to a private bench in an enclosure of plum trees, he took a seat.

He leaned forward and used both hands to wearily massage his face. With his head in his hands, he asked himself inwardly, _How did my life get so complicated, all of a sudden? _

If anyone knew the truth about how he felt for Lucy, they'd take him for a lunatic. He didn't even know why he'd fallen for his old friend like this in the first place. While a faun loving a human wasn't a _totally_ outlandish idea, it wasn't a very common practice, least of all in Narnia. How would he be able to break it to Lucy, anyway? He doubted he could keep something like this a secret forever, yet how would he tell her?

It wasn't something as simple as walking up to Lucy out of the blue and saying to her face: "_Lucy, I love you. Will you marry me?_"

No…it just wasn't done that way.

Tumnus didn't know how long he sat there, but at length he heard a soft voice address him: "Tumnus?"

With a jolt of his heart, he realized it was Lucy herself. When he looked up from his hands, sure enough, the young queen stood over him. A look of mild concern filled her beautiful face.

"Lucy—what are you doing here?"

"I was just out for a little stroll," she replied. "I felt I could use a bit of fresh air." In another moment, the girl asked, "What are _you _doing here? Is something the matter? I can tell something is troubling you. Do you feel all right?" She quietly settled next to him while she spoke. Her red-gold hair shone radiantly in the sun, and the sweet smell of her perfume invaded Tumnus's sharp nostrils.

Tumnus felt his heart beat considerably faster; his legs felt suddenly very weak, and he might have stumbled had he not already been sitting.

"I…I…" He faltered.

"What is it?" she pressed gently. "Go on, you can tell me."

Tumnus was silent for such a long time that Lucy thought she would never get an answer. But then, at last, the faun did speak.

"Lucy, could I ask you a question?"

"Certainly."

"It's a very personal question." He added emphatically, "_Very _personal."

"What sort of question is that?" She looked at him curiously.

Taking a deep breath, Tumnus somehow found the nerve to say, "Do you…do you love Terence?"

"Terence?" Lucy echoed.

"Do you love him?" Tumnus repeated, feeling incredibly stupid for asking such a ridiculous question, and at the same time dreading what the answer might be.

Another long silence followed. At length, Lucy said, quietly and thoughtfully, "Yes, he is very dear to me."

Tumnus felt his heart sink to his hooves, and he turned away. But Lucy added on, "He is like another brother to me. I love him like a brother."

Slowly turning back to the girl, Tumnus dared to ask, "You mean to say you love him…in a purely platonic manner? You don't…you don't actually harbor romantic feelings toward him?"

"Why should that worry you, Tumnus?"

Tumnus closed his eyes for just a moment. When he opened them again, he said dispiritedly, "Forgive me, Lucy. I didn't mean to pry, or sound like I was slighting Terence." He raked his fingers through his honey-cinnamon curls, as he often did when he was flustered. "I just thought…since you've spent a little more time with him lately…and there is no question he's the most attractive creature in the Cair…"

"He's attractive, all right," Lucy had to admit. "Then again, he _is _part unicorn." Placing a hand on Tumnus's hairy forearm, she continued benevolently, "But you're attractive, too, Tumnus, in your own way."

At these words, Tumnus felt the tiniest spark of hope flare in his chest. "You truly think so?" he asked.

"Of course."

Well, that was one worry off Tumnus's mind. Despite his embarrassment, the faun felt an odd sense of relief, and a perverse pleasure that Terence was not Lucy's lover.

But if Lucy didn't love Terence, then who _did _she have an eye for, if she had an eye for anybody?

Surely, there had to be someone. Lucy was certainly old enough to start noticing men, and she was at the appropriate age to marry. Her siblings were already courting other members of the opposite gender; there was gossip floating around that Peter may very well be married within the following year, and there were high hopes for Susan and a certain prince from Archenland, though nothing was yet confirmed nor denied.

"Is there anyone who _does _take your fancy, then?"

"As a matter of fact," said Lucy, a knowing gleam in her eye, "there is. One who happens to reside in this very castle."

"Who?"

Rather than give the answer outright, Lucy told him, "Meet me in the main library after supper tonight. I'll tell you then."

It was only two hours before the dinner hour. That meant Tumnus would have to wait at least three hours before he would hear who the lucky man was. Tumnus wasn't sure he could wait that long, but he acceded.

"I'll be there."


	3. Part 3

**TORN LOVE  
><strong>

_Hello, everybody! Did you miss me? I know I've been pretty slow with my FF stories these last couple of months; there was school going on, of course, and other personal projects, too, my novel included. And I received a rather unpleasant visit from Mr. Writer's Block. But I think it's safe to say I'm getting my muse back at last. So here you go, friends. Enjoy! _

_I'd almost forgotten how good it felt to write about Tumnus and Lucy, especially a love scene.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Characters (except Terence) © C.S. Lewis and DisneyWalden Media**

**Terence and Story © unicorn-skydancer08 **

_**All rights reserved.**_

* * *

><p><strong><span>PART 3<span>**

Later, at dinner, Terence was nowhere to be seen in the dining hall. Tumnus was surprised, as was Lucy and all the others. It wasn't like the young man to deliberately skip a meal. Most of the time, he was the first one to the table, and he was almost always eating; Peter had remarked at one time that Terence had the appetite of two horses. However, Tumnus didn't give Terence too much thought, and he was so nervous about his upcoming meeting with Lucy that he himself had a hard time settling down to eat. He barely noticed what he was putting into his mouth, he mixed up his utensils so that he used his spoon in place of his knife, and twice he accidentally spilled a bit of wine.

When at last it was time for him to head for the library, his legs were shaking so much he could hardly walk; it was all he could do to put one hoof in front of the other. _It's all right, _he kept telling himself. _It's going to be all right._ At one point, he thought,_ Lucy made it clear that she doesn't love Terence, so what have you got to worry about? _That last thought both startled him and shamed him.

When he reached the library, Lucy was already there. As soon as he saw the girl, the faun almost lost his nerve and made a dash for it, but he held his head up, forced his lips into a smile, and said, "Well, here I am, Lucy."

"You made it in good time, Tumnus," she replied.

Taking a deep breath, determined to get the business over with before his courage failed him, Tumnus said, "Well…let's hear it. Let's hear who this 'special person' is."

Rather than answer him right away, Lucy turned away for a moment, looking a great deal more serious than she had that afternoon. "Tumnus," she said at length, "do you think I'm crazy?"

"What do you mean by that?" he asked.

"I mean, would you consider me crazy if I told you I had my eye on someone who was…shall we say…not exactly like me?"

Tumnus's heart fairly leaped into his throat. Dare he believe Lucy was saying what he thought she was saying? "What do you mean?" he asked a second time, a slight strain in his voice.

Now Lucy turned her face full on him, and perhaps it was only a trick of the light, but he would have sworn there were tears in her eyes. "If I told you," the girl said in a hushed voice, "that my heart belonged to someone who was not human, who has been my sweetest friend for the greater part of my life, who stands in this very room, this very moment…would that qualify me as crazy?"

Her gaze tangled with Tumnus's; in that moment, Tumnus was convinced his heart stopped altogether.

It was as if the rest of the world had disappeared. All time seemed to come to a standstill. Tumnus couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't even think straight.

When he was able to get some hold of himself, when he found his tongue, he said tremulously, "You mean to say that you…that y-you're in love with…_me?"_

"Head over heels," Lucy said, and a genuine tear slid down her cheek.

Tumnus felt his own eyes sting and prickle, and his surroundings grew blurry. It wasn't until Lucy had gone to him and was hugging him fiercely that his composure fell to pieces. At once his breath broke out in a sob, and his arms snaked around Lucy's body as if with a will of their own. He held her as tightly to him as possible without breaking her in half, his tears flowing like the rain.

Joy, sheer joy such as he had never felt or would have imagined possible, swelled up inside him until he thought he would burst at the seams.

_It's me! _was the only rational thought in his mind. _It's me! _

Oh, this was too good to be true! He couldn't believe it. His greatest hope, his very fondest wish, had just been realized. He almost pinched himself on the spot to be sure he was awake. Laughing and sobbing by turns, he buried his face in Lucy's neck and wound his hands in the silk of her hair. He felt the warmth of the girl's tears on his own neck and knew she was threatening his good scarf, but he could have cared less.

It was unknown how long the girl and the faun clung to each other like that, but when they were looking at each other again and Lucy was about to say something, Tumnus silenced her with an impromptu kiss. The first touch of their lips jolted the two of them like a static shock. They almost jumped out of their skin, and Lucy took a step back, placing two of her fingers to her lips.

Tumnus, however, smiled through his tears and said with a weak chuckle, "You would not believe how much I've wanted to do that."

Lucy smiled back, knowing that kiss could only mean one thing.

Without a word, she moved back into Tumnus's arms, which readily received her. As if drawn by an invisible force, their mouths came together again, and they kissed long and deep, closing their eyes and tilting their heads at varying angles. The sensation was nothing short of intoxicating; Lucy almost went into a swoon, and Tumnus might have fallen to the floor had Lucy's arms not been there to uphold him. They kissed again, and again, and again, stopping only long enough to catch their breath. Even after the kissing activity ceased, each continued to hold on to the other, as if for dear life. With his lips less than an inch from Lucy's ear, Tumnus whispered, "I love you."

Lucy had heard such words countless times before, from him as well as a number of people—but here, in this manner, they took on a new, hallowed meaning. "I love you, too," she whispered back, barely able to contain her joy.

Smoothing away a stray lock of her hair, Tumnus said, "I never thought I would say this, Lucy, never thought I would ever get the chance, but…"

"But?" she repeated, waiting on him to elaborate.

With his still-teary eyes fixed on hers, he asked, in a voice almost too soft to be heard, "Will you marry me?"

Lucy's answer was prompt this time, and it added on to her and his joy, were such a thing possible: "Yes, Tumnus, I will."


	4. Part 4

**TORN LOVE  
><strong>

_Surprise! It's yours truly again, with a new chapter! It feels great to be back, and even better to return to the world of Narnia fan fiction. I may not have written much about Tumnus and Lucy and Terence lately (though I have been on a roll with my novel), but my love for them is still going strong. So don't you worry your pretty little heads.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Characters (except Terence) © C.S. Lewis and DisneyWalden Media**

**Terence and Story © unicorn-skydancer08 **

_**All rights reserved.**_

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><p><strong><span>PART 4<span>  
><strong>

At the same time that Tumnus and Lucy were in the library, Beaver went looking for Terence. It took him almost an hour to find the young man; when he finally did so, it was, to his surprise, inside Lucy's chambers. What was even more surprising was the way the place looked. Somehow, Terence had gotten his hands on what must have been a hundred candles, which were set up meticulously all around the vast room. Of course, the boy took care to place the candles in spots where an accidental fire could not occur; he was just lighting the last one when Beaver came in.

After blowing out his long matchstick, Terence turned in Beaver's direction. He looked startled at first, but quickly relaxed when he recognized his furry friend. "Oh, hello, Beaver," he said. "Thank goodness it's only you."

"My word, Terence, what is all _this?_" Beaver asked in a tone of mixed bewilderment and wonder. Aside from the candles, Terence had also scattered a number of white and crimson rose petals all over the floor, and unless Beaver was mistaken, there was a silver platter resting on a nearby table; the platter contained a bowl of fresh fruit, a flagon of wine, and two crystal goblets.

Terence smiled. "I decided to take your advice, mate, and show Lucy how I feel about her in a way that's, as you say, sincere and special. You said to use my imagination, and this is what I thought up."

"You really outdid yourself, that's for sure," Beaver remarked as he surveyed the room. "This would explain your absence at dinner."

"It took a while to get all the things I needed together," Terence said. "And, of course, I had to do this at a time when Lucy was not around, when I stood the smallest chance of being interrupted. What do you think, Beaver? Do you think this will convince Lucy? Do you think she'll agree when I ask her to marry me?"

All Beaver could say was, "If this won't win a girl over, I don't know what will."

Right then, they heard voices and steps in the hall; they sounded like they were coming this way. Quickly Beaver scooted out the door, calling softly to Terence over his shoulder, "Good luck, mate!"

No sooner had he left the room than Lucy entered, as did—to Terence's surprise and dismay—Tumnus. To further add to the boy's dismay, the faun's left arm was linked with the girl's right, and her head rested against his shoulder. Both of them stopped short at the unexpected display before them. Terence saw their eyes widen and their jaws drop at the same time.

For a long moment, no one spoke, at an utter loss for words.

In the end, Lucy broke the intense silence. "Terence." Her voice was barely a whisper. "What…what are you doing here?"

"What is the meaning of this?" Tumnus asked, his voice also little more than a whisper.

Poor Terence just stood where he was, frozen like a statue. His gaze kept switching back and forth between his friends, not daring to believe what he feared he was seeing. When he found his tongue, he said, so softly that even Tumnus could hardly hear him, "I can explain…"

Lucy looked around disbelievingly at her surroundings. Candles, she thought? Flowers? Wine? There was but one rational explanation for having all this stuff in one place, set up in this fashion.

Tumnus deduced the same thing, and it was as if a cold iron claw had seized hold of his innards.

"I meant to surprise you," Terence said, knowing from their faces that this came as a definite surprise, though far from the way he'd intended. "I—I was going to ask you to—to—" He couldn't say it, but Lucy got the message, all too well.

Now Lucy felt sorrow begin to tangle with her shock, as did Tumnus. The girl looked at the faun for a minute, and then took a tentative step toward the white-haired boy. Almost without realizing it, the youth shifted a step back. "Terence," said Lucy, and he would rather she yelled at him than speak in that unpromisingly quiet tone. "There's something I have to tell you…"

"What?" he asked, already knowing the answer before she gave it to him.

Lucy saw no point in dodging the issue, nor did she see any way to sugarcoat this. Therefore, she gave it to Terence straight. "Listen, Terence, I appreciate what you're trying to do here. It's a truly sweet gesture—but Tumnus has already asked me the same question, just a little while ago." Drawing in a long breath, she let it all spill: "And I said yes."

Tactful as she tried to be, gentle as her words were, they met with Terence's heart the way a flying rock meets with a glass window. Terence felt them literally shatter him, and now hot tears blinded his eyes, while the thick lump that swelled in his throat nearly cut off his breathing. Seeing the sheer, undiluted heartbreak in his face broke Tumnus and Lucy's hearts, too; if they lived to see a thousand years, neither of them would ever forget that look. At that instant, any pride or envy Tumnus felt before evaporated like water on smoking coals.

Unable to face either of his companions, Terence turned away, covering his face with his hands. When Lucy reached out her hand to him, he just bolted out the door, as fast as he could. Both Lucy and Tumnus called after him several times, but he was gone, though they could still hear his soul-wrenching sobs long after he had fled the room.


	5. Part 5

**TORN LOVE  
><strong>

_If you think that last chapter was sad, this one's even sadder. Some melancholy songs helped to set the mood, such as Rufus Wainwright's "Hallelujah," Amanda Perez's "Angel," and ABBA's "The Winner Takes It All." That last song inspired a particular quote in this story; see if you can spot it.  
><em>

_I can really empathize with Terence. How would you feel if you loved someone, but they ended up going with someone else, or they simply weren't interested in pursuing anything romantic with you? Of course, there's no law dictating their choice. All the same, you can't help feeling like a reject, like you fall a little short of their expectations. It's a terrible feeling.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Characters (except Terence) © C.S. Lewis and DisneyWalden Media**

**Terence and Story © unicorn-skydancer08 **

_**All rights reserved.**_

* * *

><p><strong><span>PART 5<span>  
><strong>

Early in the morning, Terence woke up feeling groggy and disoriented. Bright yellow light streamed through his open window, striking him directly in the face. With a low groan, he rolled onto his other side, placing his hand over his eyes.

When he took his hand away, he was a little astonished to discover he was in his own bed—or on top of it, rather, since his blankets were beneath him instead of on top of him. To further add to his bewilderment, he was still fully clothed, boots and all. The young man blinked, then rubbed his face and groaned a second time. He felt strangely weary, and somehow worn, as if someone had pulled a plug and drained him of all his strength and vitality. His limbs felt like lead weights; he could barely move. He ached all over the place, too.

Was he ill? It sure felt like he was coming down with something.

In a way, the boy was indeed ill—but not in the physical sense.

Slowly, like water that found a hole in a dam, everything that had transpired the previous night came trickling back into memory. Almost without realizing it, Terence's throat tightened, as if a rough force had caught him by the neck, while his surroundings blurred and wavered as fresh moisture pooled up in his eyes. Though he couldn't speak, his mind reeled with but two agonizing thoughts: _Lucy…Tumnus._

Covering his face with his pillow, Terence allowed himself to weep anew for what must have been half an hour, maybe an hour. Even after his tears had run dry, even after his relentless sobs no longer clawed at his throat, he resolutely kept his face pressed into the pillow's cool, soft depths.

How could Lucy do this to him? How could Tumnus do this to him? The two people in Narnia that Terence felt he could trust the most had betrayed him in the worst way imaginable, hurt him beyond every iota of belief. Terence would have been furious with them both, were he not already consumed with sheer grief. The pain he had not felt, had never expected to feel again since his fall-out with Rhiella, came back full force.

This was one of those times when Terence cursed humans and their ability to feel so much—even though unicorns were not exempt from emotions, either. He wished he could rip his heart out, though in a way, it had already been done.

Terence could not tell how long he lay in that spot, but it was only when a soft knock sounded on his door that he finally lifted his head from his pillow—which was about as easy as trying to lift a two-ton boulder with his bare hands.

"Terence?" a solicitous voice called from the other side. "Terence?"

It was Lucy.

A muscle in Terence's jaw grew taut, while his hands curled into rock-rigid fists. What was _she_ doing here? After last night, she had a lot of nerve to show her face around this place. Part of Terence wanted to tell the girl to go away, but he couldn't get his tongue to cooperate.

The knocking persisted, as did Lucy's call. "Terence? Terence, I know you're in there. Please open the door. Please come out and talk to me."

Almost before he realized what he was doing, Terence was on his feet and approaching his door. Sure enough, Lucy stood right there, still garbed in the same dress from earlier. Her copper-red hair had been combed and plaited into a fresh braid, but her eyes looked rather swollen, and her face had a rather pasty cast to it. Terence could tell she hadn't slept any better than he had.

After a long moment of silence, Terence asked dully, "What do you want?"

Lucy knew he must be _very_ upset with her when he refrained from speaking her name, hadn't even bothered to say hello or to hug her, as he usually did when they came across each other. She couldn't very well say she blamed him, either.

"Terence, I'm sorry," she blurted out. "I am _so_ sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I swear I didn't."

Intentional or not, Terence thought, the fact remained that she _had_ hurt him.

She could make up pretty apologies all she wanted, but the damage was already done.

"I didn't know," Lucy went on. "I had no idea you'd felt that way about me."

"Well, now you do," Terence told her, in the same deadpan tone. He repressed the desire to add on, _"I'm sure half of Narnia knows by now."_

"Please forgive me," the girl said, her eyes and tone beseeching him. "I know I'd agreed to Tumnus's proposal—but I care about you, too. I care about you enough to want to keep you in my life, as a friend. Can't we still be friends?"

_Friends._ The word, which used to mean so much at one time, sounded hollow to Terence's ears.

That was all he had ever been to Lucy…all he ever would be.

A friend, and nothing more.

He had given Lucy his heart, loved her every bit as much as Tumnus had, if not more. But it wasn't good enough for her. _He_ wasn't good enough.

Rather than answer the young queen, Terence simply slipped past her, murmuring, "I need to take a walk."

And so he did, leaving Lucy behind, heading down the long, deserted corridor by himself. He walked very slowly, with his head hanging to his chest, and with a noticeable falter in his step. Lucy didn't go after him or try to stop him, but she watched him until he'd turned a corner and disappeared from sight. Then her tears fell like a summer shower, and she slumped back against the wall and let herself slide all the way to the floor.

Terence hadn't gone many paces when he heard another familiar voice from behind. "Terence! Terence, wait!"

A noisy clatter of hooves accompanied the voice, but Terence kept going. In a minute, Tumnus caught up with him. Now Terence did stop and stand still, though he avoided looking the faun directly in the face. When Tumnus had recovered his breath, he said tentatively, "Terence?"

Terence said nothing.

"Terence, are…are you all right?" At once Tumnus regretted asking such a pointless question. Anyone with half a brain could see that the boy was anything _but_ all right.

"How do you suppose I feel?" Terence's voice was quiet, but held a bitter note that made Tumnus recoil.

"I'm sorry, mate," the faun didn't hesitate to say, just the way Lucy never hesitated. "I'm so sorry. Truly, I am."

"I know you are. And so am I—sorry for believing, even for a minute, that it could work out between Lucy and me. I should have known in the first place that such was a fool's hope. But I suppose that just verifies the old saying, 'Only fools fall in love.'"

Tumnus felt these words twist like knives in his heart. Recalling his own cynicism and jealousy of Terence beforehand only painfully added to his burden of guilt. To have harbored such feelings toward his best friend, to have hurt someone like Terence so much in order to get what _he_ wanted…that was about as low as it went, if not lower.

"Guess it was a matter of who reached the finish line first," Terence went on, lifting his gaze to meet Tumnus's at last, "and I so happened to be one small step behind you. And as they say, the winner takes all. Congratulations, Tumnus."

Tears quivered in Tumnus's eyes, as did his voice as he entreated, "Forgive me, Terence."

"Why? You got what you wanted. Why should I resent you just because everything worked out in your favor? After all, there's two of us, and only one of Lucy. She made her choice, and you were the one she picked. So go ahead. Don't let me stop you or hold you back. Marry the Valiant Queen, and live happily ever after."

With that, Terence resumed his little walk.

When he was gone, Tumnus, all but sick with shame and grief, shakily made his way to an armless chair that stood nearby. His tears were already flowing before he sat down, and he buried his face in his hands and wept without restraint. _What have I done? _he couldn't stop asking himself. _Oh, what have I done? _

To think that he had been so euphoric when Lucy chose to be with him. For a glorious moment, he had floated above cloud nine, thinking he was the happiest, luckiest faun in Narnia. In essence, he had truly felt like a winner—but now the victory felt worthless, insincere.

What value was there to winning if it meant losing everything he held most dear in the process?

Meantime, Terence continued to weave his way through the Cair. He had no specific destination in mind; he just went where his feet took him. He didn't pay much attention to where he was going, and almost tripped over Beaver. "Oi, watch it, there!" Beaver said, rather crossly. Then, realizing who it was, he quickly got over it. A smile even spread over his face, lighting up his black-bead eyes. "Ah, here's the ol' Lover Boy! How sails the dream boat, Captain Romeo?"

When Terence didn't smile back, the smile vanished from Beaver's face as quickly as a doused candle. "Er…Terence?" he asked, regarding him with gentle concern. "What's the matter? You look terrible. Are you all right?"

"No," said Terence, seeing no point in beating around the bush. "No, I'm not."

"How…how did it go last night?" Beaver feared to ask.

"A disaster."

"What? What happened?"

In the briefest explanation possible, Terence told all that had happened.

When he was done, Beaver didn't know what to say, or what to think. His heart filled to overflowing with pity for Terence, while at the same time he felt a pang of guilt, knowing he was the one who'd talked Terence into this. "Gee, mate…I'm sorry," he said softly, when he found his voice. "I'm so very sorry."

Terence shook his head. "I don't understand it, Beaver. I wish so much for something, work so hard for something—only to have it all blow up in my face."

"Terence…" Beaver began solicitously.

Turning his back on him, the boy murmured, "Just leave me alone."


End file.
